Well, I have been doing really well. I am surprised that I have not really had the desire to smoke, till today.
my son wanted to see his friend that keep calling him all week. I always tell him I need to talk to a parent first. I am not sure why I went through it today. But, he told me that if I went and got him his mom would pick him up. I just said ok. I told him I would take the groceries home first, then we will get him. When I got to his friends house, he was outside and got in the car. He told me he had to be home by 6:30. I said what?? I thought your mom was coming for you. ( he lives about 20 min away). Now i'm mad as I feel I just need to go with it. As soon as we got to my home, his mother called and he said he was here. I over heard it and I said let me talk to your mom. Come to find out that she had no idea what was going on. I talked with her and told her I was sorry. She did not blame me a bit but, I should have kept insisting on talking to her before I went, she can not drive as she just had surgery. So when I went to get gas to take him home I hesitated but, asked for a pack. The guy was so great he asked so how long since your last cigarette? I said 5 days, he said Wow don't do it now. you have come so far. I said i'm really mad. He said I know that is always my go to as well. you really do not want them. I agreed and kept my 5 DOF. As I walked out there was a man smoking and I thought for a second I could ask for just one, Then I thought NOPE just get the gas and go. The rest of the night has been I really should have gotten that pack. I have not felt that way all week and it is hard to shake it. but, I will go to bed tonight with my sombriety.