Here I am at day 3 and I must say that I woke up so mad. I can not believe that I am so lost without a cigarette. I know it is the addiction talk to me. This mental war fair that is going on is going to make me insane. I don't really want to smoke. I like not having to run outside, making sure that I have all that I need to pull me threw. I almost caved in and went to the store to get another pack and said I quit at quitting, then I read NML I was convinced that it was for later, I could never make it that long. Hell I am failing within the first week. How is it you all here can do so well and make it sound so easy and I want it so bad and can not seem to make it. As I was standing in line, I read a comment from maryfreecig on my post telling me just because you are tempted to smoke does not mean that you have done something wrong in your quit. I stopped and thought it was not that I did something wrong, something must be wrong with me. maybe I am just born to fail.
The only way I can pull threw is to just lock myself up in my room and never com out again. Ok yea I can do that but, I am quitting to live, I am quitting to be with my family, that would not be living in any stretch of the word. So I will continue
this, I will not focus on the 130 day and hope that I will make it that far. I will just get threw today this minute.
Thank you maryfreecig and all of you here. I will pull out of this depressing state and hope that tomorrow I don't think of smoking. God help me I will fake it till I make it.
