I've been doing great with my quit. I started moving my body this week and stop with the eating non stop to compensate for not smoking. I've had a great week. Tonight my husband talked me into going to a cook-out with our friends. I've missed my friends but they are smokers and I've not felt ready to be around smoking. I said yes, okay, I think I'm ready. After we ate, I drank a beer. As the night went on I drank another beer and when my husband went out to the garage to look at a car, like a child I snuck a cigarette. He came out and saw me and pulled me aside and tried to encourage me to not let it go any further. I smoked three more after our conversation and drank two more beers. I feel like a failure. I've made it over a month and now I'm back to square one. What the heck is wrong with me. My mind has gone right back to smoking. I have had to stop myself from buying a pack and just saying to heck with this quit. I'm not! I'm not! I'm not smoking any more. I'm a complete mess right now. I doubt sleep will find me tonight and I deserve to feel awful about myself! My quit day is now tomorrow. Please pray that I finally beat this stupid, nasty, disgusting, filthy devil that is constantly on my shoulder. I hate this!
