PRAIRIEROSELADY

MY JOURNEY TO FREEDOM

Blog Post created by PRAIRIEROSELADY on Feb 10, 2018

MONDAY FEB.12,2018

 

................Thinking about what I want to share, as I try to collect my scattered thoughts. I went to bed earlier last night. I couldn't get myself to work very long on my lap-a-gan, I had tired of the TV and my PC game. It was cold and ugly outside. My homemade veggie pizza was tasty ...........I did wall push-ups

my devotionals, got ready for bed and changed my patch.... What the Heck! I WAS JONES-ING BADLY!

My girlfriend who has Never smoked but her Mom did, chatted with me....We talked about everything but cigarettes. I was too exhausted to allow myself to think about them anymore. Before bed,I'd read all the mail in my phone from the site. 

 

I took Mazy and scurried off to bed and left the country music playing. I went to sleep; quickly after some deep breathing.......(I WANTED TO GET UP DRESS AND FIND A SMOKE IN THE WORST WAY. I DID NOT DO IT!!!!!!) Thank God, I held my ground! While I slept, I escaped the torment of visions of a cigarette in my hand. I wasn't to thrilled, when I woke up at 4 a.m., because I am not used to going to bed that early.

Had a glass of water, played a pc game on phone,then finally settled into slumber once again.

A couple hours later, when alarm went off, I couldn't get myself up and going. I hit snooze, but finally dragged myself out. Dressed,packed my stuff and headed to the clubhouse for Exercises Class. Since it was cold outside,I didn't really want to go at all! I felt so much better after the hour was up............

 

I didn't go to the weekly Clubhouse meeting,as it is always very noisy. I have had a headache most of the day. I took an Aleve, have stretched my neck,started a manicure,groomed Mazy, made a pan of bread pudding,did the dishes,cleaned veggies,played a pc game,had lunch. I finished up my spicy shrimp Jambalaya soup for lunch. I've read alot at the site today. Deep breathing,changing activities often..

I haven't SMOKED,  but I am so antsy and unsettled! I PROMISED TODAY, NOT TO SMOKE NO MATTER WHAT!!!!! TODAY IS ONE OF THOSE WHERE THE JOURNEY IS MINUTE BY MINUTE!!!!! I'D LIKE TO JUST SLEEP UNTIL TOMORROW... MY CRANKY OLD BODY WOULD NEVER ALLOW THAT!!! TOMORROW IS SUPPOSE TO BE THE LAST BAD WEATHER DAY!!!!  Thank God, I have Exercise class again tomorrow!!!!

 

Maybe a Hot Bath after supper, will help????? Right now,I'm going to finish the site reading. Then my nails. I don't have the Energy for the mopping of the Park Model. Waiting for nicer weather,so floors will dry up sooner. I Know this Too Shall Pass! Wish it would Speed Up!!!! If it were warm enough I'd do a 3mile walk or go to the pool and swim laps..... Too Cold! Veggie/fruit guy comes pretty soon... Maybe, he has something on the truck, I don't have in the fridge. My mocktails with dinner are working. Last night I did Mango juice with key lime water. I put it on ice in the biggest wine glass I have. Then I don't miss my cocktails before the evening meal. Haven't checked my mail..Hubby said, he sent a Valentine. I can walk that far in this weather........Hang in their fellow EX. people!

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TODAY IS 2 WEEKS OR 14 DAYS OF FREEDOM FROM TOBACCO..........I'M SO THRILLED,I'M OVER THE MOON!

MY cravings are farther apart..... After meals, a hard cinnamon candy and my decaf coffee.... replaced a big shot of caffeine and a smoke or two....If, I'm working on something big or stressed...I find a few stretches and a few wall push ups...... fill that small amount of time, and then I go back to what I was doing...........A brisk short walk with Mazy works. If I am exhausted......I don't even let myself think about, the things I had planned. I sit and rest a little, if it is already evening and I 'm craving ...I shower, music, crawl into bed with my kindle and call it a day........Strange for the gal who was born a NIGHT OWL and always has been one. The site, the support, my toolbox, my approach, as well as my attitude have ALL changed from previous efforts to QUIT! Even that WHACKED OUT LAPTOP, DIDN'T TAKE ME OFF THE DEEP END! Surprised even myself!!!!!!  I pray too, for the Lord Jesus, to give me the strength I need to take each step forward....I haven't made my 10,000 steps today.

Probably won't make it, since it is close to bedtime. Mazy may make a couple blocks for the last potty run.

Exercise Class tomorrow is at 10 a.m. instead of 8:30a.m.  Since most nights I am sleeping better, I'm not so Crabby when I wake-up in the mornings.  I am looking forward to a Life without Smokes! My grandchildren will be so surprised!  Their father quit a couple years ago. They will all be Thrilled and Very Happy!!!!

 

 

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