Rest in peace my dear mother I can feel you here at my home I don't no how to make the feeling go away I can't seem to stop crying I want a cig so bad it's not happening but the feelings are there. Today is day 50 for me even though it doesn't feel like 50 and I'm going to make it to another 50. Well it's been a very long last three days .So going to get some much needed sleep. Mom I know your watching over me don't worry I will not relapse like I did with dad passing I promise.