Hi all, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Marie. I am real good at excuses and lying to myself. I started with my excuses when my health started to go down hill. My doctor tried to talk me into quitting so many years ago. (about 1981) I started passing out all over the place. So much that it started to become a joke with all who I knew. I even got to know some of the EMT's in town. I was having breathing trouble so the doc blamed it on allergies and my smoking, and since I wouldn't quit he gave me an inhaler and sent me on my way.
Excuse #1, It can't be the smoking, others don't pass out. The doctor is wrong.
With time and smoking, my breathing got worse, I got hurt at work, was dizzy on the stairs and fell. By then it was emphysema, and now I needed surgery on my knee from the fall. That really changed things for me.
Excuse #2, If I could get back to work I could quit.
The injury caused something called RSD, reflex sympathetic dystrophy. Most people, even some doctors don't get the extent of what this does to the body. I won't go into all that, if you would like to know more about it you can check out the website rsdhope.
Anyway that started the many lies to myself. The biggest one being, If you doctors would just give me my life back then I will quit smoking. That makes it the doctors fault, right.
Being disabled makes it to hard to quit.
I have no work or life, how could I quit.
I can't sleep because of the pain, of course I can't quit.
The stomach trouble this has caused is eased by a cigarette and keeps me from vomiting.
I can't quit with all this stress.
When I try to quit I can't stay awake during the day cause my blood pressure is so low, a cigarette helps bring it up.
If the doctors would give me something to keep the blood pressure up, I could try to quit.
I am so nervous about covid-19, I can not quit.
The violence everywhere is scary, how can I quit.
And many more.
My body is now failing everywhere... How Can I Not Qiut!