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Day 19: I don't do that anymore

Nestly
Member
1 13 105

I figured out what was causing the cramping in my legs. I had gained about 10lbs in water weight over just a few days! For someone who's 5'3" and typically around 115lbs, that's a lot! There are a few things that might have contributed to that happening but needless to say, I've taken action to reverse the problem and I'm starting to feel better. I even got a walk in this morning, although it might be another day or two before I try to incorporate running back in.

In other news, while I was walking, I passed a mom out with her kids and standing watching them as she puffed away on a cigarette. I could feel what she was going through but it feels like a lifetime ago already. I remember being her, looking like I don't care about my health or my children's (or feeling like that's how people judged me), hating that I couldn't just decide not to light a cigarette when I was out with my kids and trying to duck away to smoke where I wouldn't be so easily seen. And now, I just smile and think how I don't do that anymore.

I don't have to worry about long road trips or plane rides. I don't have to seek out smoking areas at amusement parks or panic when I've had a couple drinks and realize I'm running low on cigarettes (still holding off on having those couple drinks though). I can hug my kids and know they aren't cringing at my stink (unless I just got back from a good run).

I'm starting to feel like a non smoker. The idea of smoking is starting to seem foreign which is great! But I know how early it is in my quit so I must remain vigilant as random cravings will come out of nowhere and I won't be caught off guard. I will remember that there is not one single good reason to smoke. 

I'm learning to be excited for the things to come and proud of the things I have accomplished. I hope you all are as well! Because, you know, we're pretty awesome!

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About the Author
My name is Jennifer and I'm a 35yo Mom of two little girls (7&8) and my fur babies, 2 dogs and a cat. I was probably around 11 when I puffed on my first cigarette but at 16, I was never without a pack. It's time to be forever without a pack.