Good morning world! I'm happy to say I'll be entering my 6th day smoke free in under two hours. Woohoo! Go me! Ok, enough with the sugar coated sweetness, I'm getting a toothache. Let's get down to the nitty gritty.
I've found this quit to be unlike any other ones that have lasted any length of time. I was actually sailing fairly easily up until yesterday. Sure I had had cravings but I just pictured that little nicodemon starving to death and found that in and of itself tremendously satisfying. And then yesterday happend. It started off about the same as every other quit day. I stayed busy, went for a combo walk/run, all was good. Maybe it was because it was the first weekend day and all household members were home. I mean, I frequently find that every one of them are slowly driving me to insanity in their own charming ways on a normal day but man, that little nicodemon was showing me just how irritating each and every one of them really is! My kids wouldn't shut the hell up, their dad was happily smoking and drinking with my father and giving me grief at every opening, and my mother kept getting mad at my kids for making noise and interrupting her tv shows. I just wanted everyone to shut the hell up for a few minutes!
But alas, life will not pause for a pesky thing as quitting smoking so I must try to let out my anger in less destructive was. (I'm certain I confused the girls over the stupid things I yelled about yesterday) That brings me to here. I find myself getting clobbered by cravings and then raging mad for not allowing the craving to win.
Even trying to picture the anger not directed at the craving but the little bugger living inside me causing it, doesn't help right now. I'm just mad at him and his stubbornness thus far matching my own! Ok that's a little bit comical. Anyway, I need a sounding board so I hope venting it here can help. The people in my house don't really want to listen so rather then get further frustrated with them, I turn here. Let's do this!