The "dream"

Blog Post created by NeedToBe on Jan 29, 2018


So I had “the dream” that I’ve read about multiple times here. Never thought a dream could be that real! The only thing that came close was a dream I had years ago when trying to quit using a patch and falling asleep with the patch on. When I read about that at the time I learned these were called “nicotine dreams’. Funny that I had one absent the nicotine.

Anyhow, I still can’t believe how real it felt. I was meeting a life-long friend of mine who I started smoking with in my youth. Funny how among our friends as the time we were the only smokers. We were some non-descript place which was non-smoking. He went to leave for a puff and I said….. wait for it….. “what the hell, one won’t hurt”. I remember smoking in the dream and thinking, “Well, there goes my quit, I was warned about this. Need to begin at square one tomorrow!”

When I woke up I laid there thinking, “****, I smoked! I’m gonna have to quit again!” It really, really scared me. Then I realized it was a dream, (huuuuuge sigh of relief). I took deep breaths for the next couple minutes then drifted back off.

I am so happy this happened to me. Will use this as preparation for when the urges hit in NML as I’ve read about. Having the memory of the dream, how I felt when losing my quit, and the fear on waking and realizing I need to start over will serve me well if (make that “when”) the urge hits me moving forward. Hope that this will be enough to really think about the consequences of having “just one”.

I really appreciate this site more and more. As I progress through the process I am finding the experiences of others who’ve gone before me to be invaluable in giving me realistic expectations of what to expect. I find it remarkable that while each quit is a number all seem to share these common events.