This morning has been a little trying for me. Nothing really wrong except trying to decide if I am coming down with something, feel unsettled because I am hitting the terrible threes, sleeping with the patch while never sleeping with it on before, or all of the above. I've been thinking my whole way to work what I want to do. Part of me wants to take the patch off and just be done with it because I want to be totally free from nicotine. Another part of me is saying that I am reading too much into having the patch on for 24 hours and that is not the cause of how you feel. And another part of me is very nervous about not using the patch because "what if I can't handle the nicotine withdrawal so suddenly?". I did my meditation this morning and the topic was about riding the wave. Allowing to explore the feeling without reacting. I suppose that is what I am trying to do, but it does raise some questions. I have to begin my day in about five minutes and I know I cannot be distracted with my thoughts as I need to be listening to my clients thoughts. I was taught that when you really don't know what to do it's best to do nothing. For now I am not doing anything, which includes not smoking. I know that is good and the only thing I am decided about. Thanks for hearing me out.
