I'm so tired of this game I play with myself. I give in to the excuses and the exceptions as to why I "deserve" a cigarette (rather than "why am I punishing myself like this") If I clean the house...I can have a cigarette. If I finish my big chore of the day...I can have a cigarette. If someone irritates me...I can have a cigarette. And so on. I've watched 5 family members die from smoking related illnesses, so I know if I keep smoking, it doesn't end well. I'm working on changing my way of thinking to see that I'm not losing anything but rather gaining my life back and stopping this pattern that runs in my family.
I'm so tired y'all...of this addiction that consumes my time, health, money, energy, and focus.