Testing 1.2.3....

Blog Post created by MePlus3 on Mar 27, 2017

Grrrrrr ughhhh arrrrghhhh! But im not smoking! Why did I talk to him today? Did I think I was going to get some type of closure out of it? Why did I answer the phone! I'd really hate to get my number changed but that's the only way I'll truly let go! Im an angry, upset mess all over again. He woke up my hurt and some more emotions! I try my absolute hardest not to hate anyone because I know I NEED forgiveness daily from my father and with hate comes unforgiveness which the bible makes the consequences clear about that. Its soooo hard! Its a thin line between love and hate and he has crossed that line! I have never seen someone so selfish and had the nerve to blame his lack of attention on being a introvert. Did he forget I have a therapist and even introverts find time for the things and people they love. From what I've read they're only ticked when there's alot of people i.e parties, holidays, family gatherings. I haven't seen yet where they cut off all communication with every one abruptly and think its ok! Yes, I respect space and alone time but warn me! Dont just drop me one day and pick me up the next! I could just scream Im not good at breathing exercises because I breath in too deep especially when im stressed ive been working on it in therapy though. My therapist said if I keep doing it like im doing im going to pass out so I try to do it more during sessions so at least she'll be there if it happened! This is a test but im beating smoking did cross my mind while we were on the phone but I kept my hands busy playing with a pen and focused my attention elsewhere. Though im highly upset I don't want or need a smoke but im going to karma to hurry up and make her rounds and while she's at it knock him all the way off his high horse!