It is difficult for me to come forth, but I fell down last night. After 117 days smokefree, that followed 36 days threatened by a similar ego malady, I flat out let a situation at work to make me very angry. Humility will be on my mind today and onward.
I know enough to usually be able to guard myself from such anger, but it just plain got the best of me. So, my "no matter what" got assaulted, and like many addicts, I let myself smoke AT the problem. I smoked about 4-5 cigarettes, then gave them to my wife to throw away. That was last night about 7 p.m., so my 1st 24hours will turn over at 7 pm tonight.
It is so hard to let go of my 117 days. I could use some love and input today from my family here at Become an EX. I'm sure I will be able to derive something learned about this, but right now I'm still a bit emotionally shook up, and quite disappointed in myself.