My astonishment is overwhelming today. I now clearly see the difference between trying, trying, trying, and actually making the decision and be unwilling to reverse it. Once one walks through the door to BE a non-smoker, enjoy it, feed it, celebrate it, and see it as irreversible, the Light finally goes on.
My old friend and mentor Dale used to work with me (to a level of obvious frustration on his part) pointing out that I just hadn't made the decision yet. That was a few years ago. You see, one thing I had to realize was that every time I would light up a cigarette, I was feeding an inner personality characteristic that said to me, "This is okay, because eventually, I'll rebound and show em how easy it is for me to stop." I have had a voice inside my head telling me that innately I have an ability to grab ahold of myself when all the chips are down, and make a rebound, stand up, go to work, and create something that many others could only envy. Wow, how deceiving the ego can be.
So, I have become one of those who advocates that when we use the expression, "Made a decision", that is, in its strictest and absolutely simplest meaning, the turning point for all.
As some of you undoubtedly are acquainted with, there is another rule that always worked, and that is:
"Made a DECISION to turn our will and our lives over to God as we understood Him."
Its easier to just do it rather than over analyze it.