Marz727

Don’t forget, this is my choice!

Blog Post created by Marz727 on Feb 7, 2020

Middle of the 3rd week. Definitely better than first 2 weeks but still feel like I’m fighting a fight...feeling worn out and tired. But...why??

 

Who am I fighting? Why do I have to feel so grumpy? What exactly is bothering me?

 

I am choosing not to smoke. No one is making me do this. It’s my choice! It’s a choice I had always wished for and now I’m making, day after day, for 19 days now. It’s actually easier than my head is trying to tell me it is. I should try feeling proud instead of miserable!

 

There are cigarettes right up the road, where they’ve always been. Could easily go get them back. No one has locked me up so I can’t go get them. I’ve chosen all these days not to get them. I don’t want them! Even if some demon in my brain wants to keep shouting that I do. I should try feeling happy that I’m stronger than my demons! (with Gods help of course)

 

Is it bothering me that I can’t go do my beloved (stupid) habit cause it’s such a big part of my life? Part of why I wanted to stop is because it becomes too big a part of life...out of control. I have a blessed life! I should try feeling thankful instead of bothered!

 

Whenever I lit up, I wished to be quit. Funny how the addiction tries to make u forget that. Well today, I’m trying to remember!

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