MaryRobin

Choice: Celebration or Guilt

Blog Post created by MaryRobin on Sep 18, 2019

I started this journey and blog at the end of August, roughly a month ago. My original quit date was Sept. 25, and i moved it up to Sept 20. In this time, I have cut back my vaping habit from one pod (equal to a pack of cigarettes) a day to one pod every 5 days (equal to 4 cigarettes a day). 

 

Yesterday, I began to think: as much as I am happy, feeling so much better, and wanting to celebrate how much I have cut back, I feel guilty because I really am not ready yet to quit entirely. I feel guilty because I don’t want to let myself down- let all of you who have cared enough to write and support- down. I have to be honest with myself, and celebrate that I consistently cut down to 20% of the nicotine I had been consuming, and have been at this amount now for almost two whole weeks. 

 

I am sorry that I am not ready to quit on Sept. 20. I need to take more time, and keep inching my way down and out of this addiction. I have learned from reading that everyone has their own journey, and I am so happy for those of you who have been able to quit cold turkey- but it is not my journey. Mine is slowly but surely, cutting back. I want to celebrate my successes rather than feel guilt. That said, I apologize for not being ready yet. 

 

I will I’ll continue to blog as I cut back, I will keep reading posts and blogs of others who are in their journeys, and doing my research. I am going to stick to cutting back my triggers (this week, I cut coffee and alcohol out of my life 100%; I switched to one cup of tea in the a.m. and seltzer water in the eve. I have been drinking two cups of coffee and 2 glasses of wine every eve for years. Today is day 7 with neither.) 

 

Best to you all. I will update my quit date before my old one passes.

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