MartyO

One Day (?) at a Time

Blog Post created by MartyO on Mar 5, 2020

Just so you know, I am still in denial about my actual quit day.  I'm using the "ostrich in the sand" approach about it again today.  I intend to carry this denial through the week and weekend and re-evaluate Monday.  Perhaps a successful weekend will give me the strength to face my reality.  

 

Just so you know, I am also still SMOKE FREE.  Yesterday, this day, tomorrow and for ever!

 

Trying to take a moment to check in on how I'm feeling.  It's hard to slow down and think about it.  I know that I am more "revved" up now with nervous energy w/o the nicotine.  My heart races when I try to stop and think about it. My palms sweat as I try to type about it here.     I have been so into distracting from the thoughts about the quit that it takes a moment to sit still and actually think about it and I don't think I like doing that particularly.  

 

Overall, I feel good.  My cravings have definitely subsided.  I think less and less about smoking/vaping.  It's no longer the main thought of my days.  Driving is still toughest time for me-to/from work.  I will NOT drink more than a couple of glasses of wine again for a while-lesson learned!  I have put on some weight/pounds with snacking and for whatever reason (not sure why) I have not felt compelled to do my usual low key office yoga practice on my lunch hour. Hope to get back to at least that exercise/movement soon.  Just haven't felt into it.  My moods seem more stable.  I'm not feeling sad/tearful as I was in the first week.  

 

Mentally, (besides/despite the relapse)  I love the feeling I have of accomplishment that I have actually done what I have done thus far with smoking/vaping.  I truly wasn't sure that I could do it.   I was so afraid.  I feel a sense of confidence coming back.  I feel a sense of strength coming back.  I feel like a better person.  

 

I hope you feel like a better person, too.  Each and every one of you!!  

Blessings, onward and upward...

 

marty DOF 18/5

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