I am free!

[Margaretd]

I am free. 

From someone who smoked since the age of 13, I never thought I would find happiness and peace of mind and body, in quitting nicotine.  When I quit, I was fearful, angry, resentful, and very fragile in my belief  I could quit.

Today, I am so grateful to have quit, to not be a slave to the tobacco company, to not have nicotine rule my every thought, my every action.  I am free!

Today, I am not ruled by nicotine. It does not tell me when I need to go outside, it does not tell me to go to the store and buy more cigarettes in the dead of night or at the dawn of the day.  It no longer pushes me out into the rain.  Nicotine addiction no longer has  "power of attorney" over my body, finances, or my will. Yes, I 'm glad I quit.  Yes, it was hard, most things worthwhile, are.  I am free!

When I fantasize about the good parts of smoking, I know I am experiencing euphoric recall, it's part of the addiction. Euphoric recall is real, it is a psychological distortion that hi-jacks rational thinking and makes the mind fixate on only the positive parts of addiction -  It blocks any negative aspect of the addiction.  It is real and it is dangerous, and  it causes people to relapse.  When this happens to me, I have to recognize my mind has been temporarily sezed by addiction and to liberate myself, I have to remember the negative aspects of smoking and then, I am free!

I don't want to be ruled by big tobacco, a vile company,  a company who has total disregard and accountability for the harm they bring to society.  I don't want to be associated with big tobacco who has shamelessly peddled their addictive product through manipulation, seduction, and trickery.  Finally and foremost, I don't want to finance their insatiable greed and campaigns of corruption. I am free!

I was able to quit when I fully embraced my addiction.  I rid myself of any magically thinking that told me "someday I'll be able to smoke just one or two a day".  To quit, I had to accept that smoking, in any form, was not an option for this addict!  I am free!

 Three years ago,  I remember sitting on my front porch taking the last drag off the 10th cigarette of the morning and saying, "I have to quit", and I thought, "if not now, when?"  I AM FREE!