This afternoon, Hospice that my husbands Mother is doing poorly. So at the request of Hospice, I packed my bag. They asked if someone could stay the night with her....so here I am and there's nowhere I would rather be. This woman raised a beautiful family, raised 7 children ( one set of triplets). We have always been very close. She has been an outstanding woman to learn from and I have much respect for her.
When we arrived her color is very Ashey, her breathing rapid and raspy. I know these signs. Her O2 Sat is 70. I sat with my dear Nana as she experienced this. Her abdomen is very very swollen although she probably weights 90#s. Her extremities very cold due to the blood trying hard to maintain her vital organs. It is what happens, it is what it is.
I go in and turn her every 2 hours so decubitus ulcers do not begin, I swab her dry mouth and apply vasoline to her dry lips and try to offer pudding fluids or whatever. She is in an Assisted Living apartment and they are wonderful to her. Hospice comes once a day also.
I guess I am just feeling sad. She is nearly 95 . She's had a good life. She never smoked and was so proud of me when I quit and when I cut off my long hair recently, lol. I just spent an hour with her neighbor in the room next door who is 97. She was glorious and fascinating. I should hope to grow old in such a fashion. I am a Katherine Hepburn type. No fancy stuff anew, just me as I am. Yeah I just cut off my hair, but now that all the fake color is gone I am letting it grow as long as it wants to. Anyway ,her neighbor is so cool. My mind is all over the place in thought right now sorry for any confusion.
We called her daughters and other son in California who are coming n tomorrow and they always stay with us. If I am not on EX for awhile, that's why.
I am just sad this evening and sharing. I will be fine. What I wouldn't give for a glass of Vino right now, ugh! But....hell, I am okay.
Just say some prayers. I really think its a matter of hours/days, pretty certain of that. She is a devote Catholic so I am thinking perhaps to call her church n the morning should they want to visit. Not sure its the thing to do, but I will anyway.
So, I leave you with this :
Never wait until it is too late to tell the ones you love, that you love them. Make time to listen to them. Make time . I have and I am so glad I did.
Because like Dust in the wind, anyone of us could die at anytime, nothing is promised. Keep forgiveness and peace in the forefront of your days, hours and minutes as you can never gain them back.
YOU ALL are loved by me. I have had the honor to meet and talk t some of you and I just want you to know I appreciate everyone of you. You are ALL gifts to my heart in different ways.
Goodnight, sleep tight , XOXO
Missy
