Mandolinrain

Dealing with mate /friends that still smoke

Blog Post created by Mandolinrain on Sep 21, 2018

DO YOU LIVE WITH A SMOKER OR HAVE FRIENDS THAT STILL SMOKE?

 

This could be perhaps one if the most annoying things of all things that can really  rub us wrong as we begin our new life without cigarettes....dealing with our loved ones or friends that continue to smoke. So how to deal with it? 

 

I made it crystal clear to my loved ones and friends that I was quitting and would not be attending any get togethers where people were smoking until I felt I was at a comfortable stage in my quit. That was in my third month, by the way, at the end of it. Which by then several smoking friends saw I was making it and also jumped on the no smoking bandwagon. YAY!!! Be an example.

 

SET BOUNDRIES

 

 

 Boundaries are such a sweet thing because they protect me and in protecting me, I protect ( and continue to do so ) my quit by setting them.

Visiting company had to find a place on our back patio to smoke no matter what the weather. I would not even permit it in the garage. 

 

I didn't indulge in alcohol as I quit so therefore I stayed away from all social events where alcohol was present because the two are good buddies and I didn't want to compromise my quit. Listen, realistically speaking here....if you can't set your booze aside for your quit to gain enough strength and balance then perhaps you have another addiction that needs attention. No drink was worth me losing my quit over, so I totally abstained from all alcohol until I was well into my quit. You will know when that time is for you. We are all different.

 

IF YOU WANT SOMETHING BAD ENOUGH

YOU WILL FIND A WAY OR YOU WILL FIND AN EXCUSE

 

 I am not a fan of ferris wheels. Therefore I don't ride them. Ever. I have friends that do. I watch them and they go round and round and round until someone else stops the wheel for them. Not me. I stop it for myself if you follow. Metaphorically speaking here, if you follow.

 

My husband does not smoke. I have a friend who recently quit ( a year ago ) and her husband was a smoker. She set boundaries. He loves her very much so he respected them. He finally quit himself. But before he quit he was not permitted to smoke in their autos-house or garage. She would not even allow him to wear his stinky clothes in the house.

 

I know some spouses are not willing to do this for their mate. I also know many have quit and remained quit with spouses that continue to smoke. If you have a mate that smokes perhaps you could add some advise in the replies here?

 

Anyway, it is doable....quitting and not losing your smoking friends...but I want to add this....How great of friends are they if they cannot respect you boundrie's that are there to protect you and help you reach a healthy goal? I lost ONE friend. One. Thats okay. I had to protect myself. She's a die hard smoker and chain smokes. I can't be around that , at all. Thats just me I don't want her second hand smoke and she's well aware of it. 

 

DON'T EXCUSE THEIR CHOICES TO ENABLE YOUR ADDICTION

 

Don't waste time trying to find way to make excuses for them. Use that energy and find ways to EXCUSE yourself from them. That is time used wisely.

 

 

Have a great weekend.

 

 

 

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