Mandolinrain

Free

Blog Post created by Mandolinrain on Jun 22, 2018

Falling from the cloud
I was there
I held on with all my might
Scared to let go
Scared to see what would become of me if I didn’t.

Would I ever feel normal again
Could I ever have fun again
Would I ever be able to relax

Just relax again…. it troubled me so

I had tried before
So many times
I had tried to let go of the fears....
That saddled me
So unwilling, I stayed a prisoner
Of the demon
Nicotine

 


I just felt hopeless
But then……

Reaching out
I laid out a new path
I decided ‘NO MORE’

i choose to live
I choose to be out of bondage
I choose to take back control
Of me

It was always there
I just had to take it

Yes, it was hard
I was terrified.
I fought back emotions and cried
I fought back temptations
I hurt…..

Everywhere

 

 

I was no fun to be around
I knew this was the demon talking

Then it happened...


I woke up
Days, no , more like a few months
Maybe 3

I was alive
I was not being followed by the shadow
I was tempted now and then,
But I had gained strength
I remained vigilant
I ran with others like me
Who were stronger than I
Who were here long before me
And I drank from their wisdom...
I watered my very soul…my very ambition
I yearned for the wisdom they had to offer...

 

I came back to me

The one I was always mean to be....

 

I held on with al my might
Scared to let go
Scared to see what would become of me if I didn’t.

 

Here I am...

Free

Hard ...yes

Worth it...Very much so

And it feels Damn good

I might add...

Outcomes