Falling from the cloud
I was there
I held on with all my might
Scared to let go
Scared to see what would become of me if I didn’t.
Would I ever feel normal again
Could I ever have fun again
Would I ever be able to relax
Just relax again…. it troubled me so
I had tried before
So many times
I had tried to let go of the fears....
That saddled me
So unwilling, I stayed a prisoner
Of the demon
Nicotine
I just felt hopeless
But then……
Reaching out
I laid out a new path
I decided ‘NO MORE’
i choose to live
I choose to be out of bondage
I choose to take back control
Of me
It was always there
I just had to take it
Yes, it was hard
I was terrified.
I fought back emotions and cried
I fought back temptations
I hurt…..
Everywhere
I was no fun to be around
I knew this was the demon talking
Then it happened...
I woke up
Days, no , more like a few months
Maybe 3
I was alive
I was not being followed by the shadow
I was tempted now and then,
But I had gained strength
I remained vigilant
I ran with others like me
Who were stronger than I
Who were here long before me
And I drank from their wisdom...
I watered my very soul…my very ambition
I yearned for the wisdom they had to offer...
I came back to me
The one I was always mean to be....
I held on with al my might
Scared to let go
Scared to see what would become of me if I didn’t.
Here I am...
Free
Hard ...yes
Worth it...Very much so
And it feels Damn good
I might add...
