Mandolinrain

Pickle in the middle

Blog Post created by Mandolinrain on Aug 29, 2017

Is it me or has anyone else felt like the 'Pickle in the middle'?

 

Our youngest  son and his lovely wife are going through some very difficult times. And how, you ask.... HOW in the world can this have anything at all to do with smoking??? A lot actually. There was a time that this would be a very acceptable ( on my mind ) excuse to light up.

 

 I have no intention to 'light up' so I am currently safe , but it does make triggers re-awaken so I have to remain vigilant. Even with having nearly 3 years in people. You can never sit back and say "Self, you have been quit for so long theres absolutely no worries you will not smoke, don't give it a second thought" Well listen people, I am  addicted to the drug Nicotine...I ALWAYS will be. One puff will put me right back to day one of hell week because all those damn receptors will get lit up again and the craves will be as bad as they were on day one.

 

Wow I said a swear word. You don't get that from me hardly ever, but I am really angry right now. Angry also puts me in a vulnerable position to smoke. " I could care less" attitude. Another reason to be vigilant. Sound familiar to anyone else? Some things are just plain out of my hands and out of my control. Waiting patiently as things unfold seem discouraging. So yes, Im angry...but I know I need some knee time, if you follow. That always helps me get away from my own thoughts that can make things worse than what they really are.

 

Lonely, yep...got me there. Whats happening with our son is something I can't talk about. So it leaves me feeling lonely. I have to turn this situation over to God.....well now, that makes me feel better. How about you? Are you lonely??? Do you think smoking will be good company? For the few seconds it takes to puff it out, then you feel like crap. Is it worth it? God is available 24/7 even if nobody else is. Call your Higher Power first please before you light up.

 

Tired. Well no not physically right now. But I am aware...watchful and will rest as needed.

 

Hungry, crap...I am always hungry, thats a given.

 

So I believe I just covered H.A.L.T. Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. any combination or any one of them alone and you better run, not walk...to safety. Because any of those mentioned can weaken you to lose a valuable quit.

 

I am going to Value myself. I came here. I blogged, I have prayed and I will continue to be adamant and watchful. NOTHING is worth losing this precious quit I have going. 

 

If your having a weak day and considering blowing it. Re-evaulate your quit. Value yourself, Value your quit. Theres always someone else who has it worse than you. Your not them, so be blessed . I have have all of you and all the knowledge that I have stored up in here on this site, I am putting into action . I know I need too. I know I am blessed. I just answered my own questions. I headed to quite time on my knees now.

Have a great day.

Missy

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