Mandolinrain

Knowledge really is everything....

Blog Post created by Mandolinrain on Aug 27, 2017

As far as quitting smoking was for me.

 

I was one who had so many failed attempts. I would get up one morning and say, " This is as good of day as any to quit"....then maybe I would manage to stay quit a couple hours.

 

Then there was the 'driving down the street and so disgusted at myself for smoking I would throw the entire pack out the window'... That also never worked. I would just be running down to the filling station ( which by the way, is a drive living out here in tin buck two) and spend over 5 bucks for another pack.

 

Or, when I would quit and have a really good start, maybe even a week or two and a tragedy would happen....Like losing my cell phone ( thats a tragedy, oh yes it is, you know it is,...) and I would be so mad....I would drive back into town and smoke 3 in a row by the time I pulled back in the driveway...hating the taste of it....feel dizzy....

 

And each time one of these likely events happened and I threw away my 'quit' I came crawling back here and fessed up. I am no child, but I sure behaved like one. I had not done my homework....well maybe partially. I knew I had not done all the suggested reading. Some yes, all.....not so much.

 

I was not really wanting to quit deep inside. My faith has always been important to me and I had laxed in that area as well. This site, at the time, was having issues. People were really dropping right and left.  It broke my heart to watch it happen. I dropped back also then. I took offense sometimes at comments made to me when I ' slipped', and I see now that I probably deserved it...well perhaps not all of it, lol. As a result, I now don't use the term 'Slipped', unless we are talking about ice.I had made a bad 'choice'....oh well, thats another story...

 

But seeds were planted. I took that time out to really get my faith restored and get serious about my quit and doing everything all the elders said to do. Study, get informed, make a quit kit, start a quit journal.

 

It worked for me. Knowledge really is everything. We each have our own journey to make  and some of us will struggle more than others. When the time is right I think you will know it deep in your soul. That feeling came to me when I fed it  what it needed and that was reading blogs, Carrs Book and all the material given to me here from all the wonderful people who stuck it out and helped me, that and of course my faith in God, that alone got me headed in the right direction.

 

It was a long time coming and it was hard. I NEVER thought I could be this free from smoking and I thank God everyday. I am a person who wears her heart often on her sleeve and sometimes I share more than I should, its just who I am. I have deleted some older posts where I did discuss some personal things that I truly wish I had not. I see now why I should never delete posts....perhaps it could help someone else? But I was embarrassed, and some was a medical issue still not resolved....I was scared....still concerned but not as much. We are dealing with it.

 

I am going to have 3 years September 2nd. I never thought this could be me. Im saying...

 

This could be you. Knowledge really is everything. My best advice is to be prepared.

Knowledge really is everything.

 

Bed time for me, blessings to ya all, sorry this was long

~Missy

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