MamaCanuck

Day 3, Challenges.

Blog Post created by MamaCanuck on Feb 12, 2018

I had a restless night with some intense cravings, so eventually just got up and came here and did a lot of very helpful reading. Thank you all so much for blogging and sharing your trials and triumphs. Maya Angelou's quote here speaks to me in that the cravings of physical withdrawal are something I can't change. I can alleviate them with NRT, aromatherapy, deep breathing, diversionary/keep busy activities, internal coaching, creative visualization etc, but they happen and I have to focus on my determination to NOT focus on them. There's no going back on this one: NOPE. I know I made the mistake of "bracing" for Day 3 based on past experience (I quit once for ten years and relapsed in period of intense grief, quit again when pregnant, stupidity let that deadbeat mooch tobacco industry back in to my life a couple of years later when I thought I couldn't handle stress any other way), but no quit is the same! Don't fall into traps of making it harder than it needs to be. The nicotine addict in us talked ourselves into circles of excuses, making up wildly illogic "reasoning" to not stop doing something we know is stupid and harmful to our health. Letting go of a bad habit means changing the way we think, stopping ourselves from making problems and throwing obstacles in our own way. It doesn't have to be any harder than we make it. Despite the restless night, I did get some stretches of quality sleep and when I looked at myself in the mirror this morning, instead of that terrifying ashen grey pallor and dull eyes looking back at me, I looked more like me again. I'm still coughing up small amounts of tar and whatever other gunk my lungs are working hard to clear, but I don't look so much like a smoker anymore. I also just faced and passed a big unexpected test of spotting a stray butt. I froze. I thought I'd removed all reminders of that former life. I feared a massive urge was going to come on, but I plucked up the courage to bend down, pick it up, and throw it in the garbage. I shouldn't have given in to that "what if" fear because there was no tidal wave of wanting, it was just a butt, a stinky old icky butt! And that's not part of my life any more!

 

Find your serenity, breathe in, exhale, savour that clean air.

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