My thoughts of yester years 

Blog Post created by Maki on Aug 8, 2020


The reasons I post and remain on a quit site better than eight years into a quit is to help others understand that quitting is doable and it is for everyone who has made that decision to stop .
I owe my freedom to a wonderful website and I chose to stay and give back as those did before me. I also need to be thankful for my quit and remember one puff will never be enough , so I protect it and my health with respect. Sometimes that's by writing .
I too was where you newcomers are; I felt like you do ; I experienced the same pain and the same joys .
Others before me were my eyes when my eyes were either closed or I just couldn't see or want to . Some days others lifted me out of the muck when I struggled . I needed that ....a lot
Still others carried me ( thank you to my HP) or encouraged me to put one foot in front of the other ( a very special quit bud ) . Without ALL , I never would have been at the highest point of joy in my life ; quit today .
Smoke free is awe and then some !
I may not be in your shoes today , or your shoes tomorrow , nor have I walked your exact same path nor you mine but we are ALL walking THIS journey together SIDE BY SIDE .
WE can and we WILL win this battle against addiction .
I didn't think I could quit , are you kidding , and I am sure many others are thinking the same thing right now , maybe some even on the verge of throwing in the towel . Don't , wait it out , don't smoke . It's worth it .
Post , DON"T Smoke. POST , it's simple as that . Let others walk along side and help you til you can help yourself. It's your strength . Put one foot in front of the other.
Today starting from this moment lets believe we CAN quit . Don't doubt that . It's the truth . Addiction will have you believe lies .
Quitting is "just for today" then tomorrow we will do the same . Let's keep on keeping on making our dream happen .

( Written 2015 as part of my journey )
I.M. Grateful



If today I felt like caving in ,
If I puffed what would I gain ?
If today I lost all hope to quit
Would "one" satisfy my pain ?

What if I felt like I had to give up ,
And felt it was just too tough
If I could have just one more puff
Would “one" be really enough ?

What if today I could stand my ground
Go through this temporary pain
What if I refused to smoke
Could this addiction surely be slain ?

What if I said "I’m not giving in"
Giving in would be such a pain .
What if today I could endure the clouds
To see the rainbow after the rain?

What if I felt a breeze of hope ?
Took each day one by one
What if I lived by not one puff
Then none would be more than enough .

I wrote this poem during my quit to remind myself that" just one " would never be enough. I likely also wrote it at a time I maybe wanted to give up my quit or maybe it was written on a day of strength . I'm quit , you are quit , and we are all quitting ! I hope maybe it might help someone out there struggling today . Dont smoke . You got this quit .

I would encourage you to write or journal , write a poem or write about your anxiety , your frustrations or fears about quitting . Seeing things in print can bring relief and be a great tool to work through a crave as well . As many have often done and was suggested to me early in my quit was to write a goodbye letter to addiction . Write it now , or write it later .

There are so many things we can do for ourselves to overcome addiction . Taking back our power and away from addiction is kinda cool .




Looking back

Reflections in the mirror . Things I told myself over and over ; not at the same time but over time .
Time heals .
Self talk can be helpful . Change is critical . Acceptance beneficial . I want to be an ex smoker ; not a smoker .
Don't argue with yourself or justifiy mistakes as being ok . ( I had to take it off the table ) I had previous quits .You can't smoke and be quit at the same time . Addiction can run away with that one if you let it .
Don't look for excuses and look out for the excuses that find you . Addiction is smart ; be smarter
Addiction is the preface to a book , but we write the chapters .
Its not ok to protect my smoking habit just to continue to smoke .
Break the cycle
Be patient .
I am a smoking addict . One mistake , one excuse, one tempting moment ; one weak moment , one puff could lead me back to where I never want to be again .
You can't smoke what you don't have.
It's always my choice what the outcome will be .
I love the freedom I get from not smoking .
Being quit is just way too good to lose .
I will not choose my time of death but it will be smoke free .
One day at a time . Grateful for it .