A year ago I made a choice to stop smoking. A year ago I decided my future and my health were more important than my habit. A year ago today I woke up and decided enough was enough.
I have learned a lot about myself this past year. My quit was not an easy one. The only quitting aid I used was chocolate. That being said, I gained quite a bit of weight. Is that great? No. Is it better than smoking? For me, it was. The last six months I have been using Noom, an online weight loss program, with the money I saved from not smoking!
This site was instrumental in my success those first few months. I took a step back after that because I had stopped thinking about smoking. Once and awhile I would have strong cravings but found being on the site at that time only made me think about smoking more. I tend to be at my best when it was out of sight, out of mind. I would check in periodically though to boost my mood about how far I had come.
This year also brought a lot of heartbreak that tested my quit. My father, who was diagnosed with Pulmonary Fibrosis in March 2018, was steadily declining throughout the year. In August he was admitted into Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston. At that point we were told the only way he was coming out of the hospital was to have a double lung transplant. September 11 he was listed for transplant and 7 hours later he was matched with a set of donor lungs. Currently, he is still in critical condition in the ICU. This whole experience has been the hardest thing I have experienced in my life. It is absolute hell. There have been many times I felt like smoking would take away my troubles. Luckily I realized this was not the case.
Depression, exhaustion, worry and grief is not the best recipe for a successful quit. Somehow I made it happen. I am tougher than I thought. I am happy to say that I am proud of myself. If my father had known I smoked, he would be super proud of me as well.
Thanks for listening to my rant! Good luck to everyone on their journey. It is true that we all have very different quits. Just know that we are here for each other. And if you are going through your quit soaked in sadness, reach out to me...I would be happy to talk.