so, first of all, I apologize for not being as active and supportive on this site as I could/would/should.
I have found, at 6 months quit, that I still think an awful lot about smoking. I will be perfectly honest, and say that I wondered if too much time on this site has fueled my constant smoking thoughts. Let me be clear, I am not craving- my quit is not in jeopardy. But I would like to have thought to be “over it” by now. Or at least go ONE day without reminders that I’ve recemtly quit smoking.
People talk about freedom all the time around here.
I get it. I swear I do. But I just don’t feel “free” because I think about smoking all the time. (IN broad terms, really. Maybe just memories).
I suppose what I was seeking (am seeking).. is a reprieve from my mind - how long I’ve been quit, how I would have liked to light up “there”... oh, and yes after this meal, and so on.
In this age of internet, it’s easy to be connected 24/7 and find yourself spiraled in the interwebs. It can suck you in for hours.
So, I’m crawling along here, trying to find a balance between getting on with a busy life, and blogging/online time.
Please bear with me through these growing pains!!!!
I do want to be supportive when I can- I owe a lot of you a GREAT DEAL. I wouldn’t have stayed quit this long without you! But several times a day “check ins” were probably not healthy to my quest for freedom.
I hope that makes sense and doesn’t sound bratty or ungrateful.