This is Day 130 I believe. I think that my journey in NML has been riddled with angst. I am committed to this quit, but I haven’t felt “right”. Like something is missing. I’m spinning my wheels.
well I had some pretty big hormonal shifts after my surgery 3 weeks ago, and that has compounded the feeling of being uncomfortable in my own skin.
I do know that this will pass. I do. But it’s SO HARD to not just buy a pack, in the hopes of feeling like my “normal self”.
I know in my brain that’s not gonna help. Believe me, I do. But between this quit and then hormonal fireworks in this recovery, I long for “comfort” and familiar.
Just venting, as I know you all understand. I am not at risk of losing this quit. But OMG i sure would appreciate feeling like “old me” just for a minute..
I do know that things will normalize for me. I just started hormone replacement yesterday, and I know they take time to take effect. In the meantime, I’m losing my mind just a little!!!!!
This too shall pass. But can’t we fast forward??!