It's not acutely painful, it's not comfortable in the past.
I have a strange mixture of sadness and jealousy when people relapse. (I would be lying if I said I didn't have a pangs of jealousy).
My quit is still extremely fragile. I'm weak and vulnerable, but proud of myself at the same time.
Its certainly a weird time...
Sorry I've not been very supportive the past couple days- been a weird combo of "yucky" and "blah".
Ive been exercising a lot, taking care of myself for sure. A lot of "going through the motions" during this rocky time. I can't say I'm strong enough to be comfortable in the quit forever, and that's frightening. And yet at the same time, I get excited about health benefits that become apparent after 2 1/2 months smoke free. (Lung function, endurance, skin, teeth, etc)
So while the benefits are beginning to become more apparent, I should be more commuted and less trepidation to this quit. Strangely, that's not yet the case. However, I'm in it to win it TODAY. That's the best I can do.
Xoxox
