It makes me laugh on a daily basis.
I never really decided if I would start from the night of my last cig, the morning of NO smoking, or my "reset" at noon on the same weekend of my quit. So, my statistics, my "DOF" in my mind and in this forum always are always a little questionable. Is it day 59? or the Eve of day 60?
The more pertinent question is, does it MATTER? not really. I am SMOKE FREE AND HEALING for 2 months now.
I have had some rough days, to be sure. Most of the rough days were broadcast wide open on this forum. I akin my painful days to being fillet-ed. Wide open, gaping, wounded for all to see. It has sucked. And its been exhilarating. There have been days I thought I would crumble to my addiction, and days I have contemplated signing up for a 1/2 marathon. There have been literally days when I've huddled on the couch and bawled, not knowing what to do with myself. I've thought about divorce more than once, questioned my 20 year marriage (poor hubby doesn't know what hit him), questioned my sanity (is this bipolar or just a really REALLY bad mood). And then days where i've sang at the top of my lungs because i feel so happy, so proud, so FREE and so strong.
The point is, and yes, I realize i am rambling, I have been all over the map emotionally, psychologically, physically. Every realm of my being has been tested and tried. And y'all, Im winning. Because at the end of the day, I have had all these challenges. ALL THESE TRIALS that test my will to confront this addiction. And the one thing that has been consistent, at the end of the day is that I have NOT SMOKED.
This is huge, because yes, its been rocky. We ALL know it gets rocky. And ugly. But it can be done, people. New quitters on here? I'm a newbie. I'm at 60 days. maybe 59, maybe 61 in certain time zones. (LOLz)
the sole reason i have made it to 2 months is because of the mantra in this community. NOPE. And Smoking is not an option.
Once smoking was taken out of the equation for me, it was easy. I had two choices: succeed, or succeed.
And here I am, killing it.
So don't despair, if you're new. Don't freak out about NML and what is to come.Yes, its coming. And you will be prepared, and keep reading. All the wisdom and help you can find on this site will get you to where you need to be. Its true what they say- one day at a time, one minute, whatever it takes. Just never ever quit quitting.
