Day 15
I try to give back everything I learn so that the Father in heaven will continue to bless the quit. The last 48 hours have not been easy and I really want a smoke right now, 10 minutes ago, an hour ago, ect....!!! I haven't and I know I won't at least for today. For that is all I have is today.
For you who have been married for years you will understand. My husband is ten years my senior. He is a retired US Marine and a retired Civil Servant. He has been in the workforce since he was ten years old(shining shoes to help feed his brothers and sisters), and he as always enjoyed the great feeling of a job well done. He is starting to feel the effects of growing older. At 65 he isn't old in my eyes or his mind, but his body is starting to give him small problems, due to all the injuries throughout his very physically active life. None of his sports activities or up to his standards lately and it is starting to effect is frame of mind. He stood by me when I went through all the your not good enough tricks you mind plays on you, when things aren't physically perfect with your body, now I will step up and take my turn as support next to him. The best thing I know to do for him is cuddle close and remind him it will get better. I know that any other words right now may send him down deep into a depression or raging in anger at the things he cannot change. He finally came to the conclusion on his own that he may need to see a doctor. I will let him stew on that for the next week and the possibly suggest that he does get that physical he mentioned.
That is why I have been feeling the urge to light up. Yesterday came very close. Now as I have done a lot lately I remind myself that I want to live smoke free. I want a life with my husband until God says no more.
Deep Breath inhale through Kissy lips, exhale the bad thoughts and vibes
Pam
15 DOF
