I received a text from Become an EX this morning asking if I am worried about a future without tobacco? Without any doubt my answer was no. They requested I come to the community and share what makes me feel confident to hopefully help others.
I was smoke free for almost three years it was a combination of I want to quit and will power. The thing was whenever another smoker was around I would have that one more puff or bum a whole smoke or several and I still loved to walk by smokers and smell that oh so wonderful smell of second hand smoke. I wasn't fooling anyone one but myself. Then almost a year ago I spent a week in our home with my alcoholic chain smoking brother. I started back full time again, I used it as my crutch the last year to handle what I didn't want to admit. I can do nothing for him, but love him and watch him slowly kill himself with his two drugs of choice. I can't change him I can only do as he wishes when it's my time to handle his end.
When I signed up for this program it was to make my life healthier than it has been in the last year. I lost so much of the gain I had made in the previous 2 years. I had been walking every other day, was up to almost five miles every other day. Then I stopped colded, I have tried to walk but it didn't matter anymore. I sent myself into a depression that wasn't deep but when I would catch on to what was happening I would get moving doing something. My husband would always catch me at my worst I was breathing quite hard, sweat pouring off of me. sometimes I would be shaking because I would push so hard to make up for what I hadn't done when depressed.
Then It was suggested that I read Allen Carr's book "Easy Way To STOP Smoking". It really made since to me in a way that nothing else about quitting has ever done. Why should I fight something that after an hour is no longer truly in my body unless I put it back. Why should I give my body over to the control of a drug that is not truly there. Then I really took a look at what was going on in my life, that dang cigarette was doing nothing but making my life worse. When I need to be present and accounted for my mind wanted to have a smoke. When I am bored Keeping my hands busy with a smoke. When I want to spend time with my husband, kids, or grandkids I still had to stop and have a smoke. When I spent time make myself look good, to go someplace special, I would smoke while getting dressed and end up looking stinkingly great. There is never a right time to light up, because you are going miss something. I am tired of missing out. This is MY LIFE and NICOTINE can take a hike.
Four days until my quit date. 5 Cigarettes to my name. When I smoke my last one probably later today I will Be An Ex.
I will not say more now other than I WILL CELEBRATE EVERY SMOKELESS MINUTE AS THEY COME.
Bless you all,