Buffet

[Ladybug--7-3-12]

An on-line community is just like IRL in many ways.  Not everybody on it will be everyone’s “cup of tea”.  Advice given may not be seen as great or even good for the individual it’s directed at (and it does seem that way sometimes even to others reading it).

Words matter.  Specific words used have different meanings & connotations and of course are then interpreted by those reading it.  Your interpretations are based on your own personal experiences, perspectives, and even mood that day.  (I try giving the persons “intent” the benefit of the doubt.)

Some people also just have different opinions entirely on how best to go about doing something or dealing with issues than you and this is no exception when quitting smoking.  There are some that are so dug in as to how they did it themselves that they have extreme tunnel vision and don’t see alternatives to their way.  They are not open to modify their advice to an individual person’s situation they are trying to “help”.  To them their advice is always clear, black & white, and right.  

There are a few things I don’t tolerate in 3D and most certainly have less tolerance for them on-line.  Disrespect and passive aggressiveness are some of my irritants as are helplessness, negativity & defeatist attitudes if ongoing.      

But that being said, here’s the thing.  An on-line community is just like a buffet.  You don’t have to like everyone.  You don’t have to listen to or follow the advice of everyone.  You have choices.

You can just skip that dish on the buffet table offering & move on to the next dish that has something more to offer you to your own taste.  Remember why you are here ... to get quit, to stay quit, or to help others do the same. Anything else is optional and can be freely discarded.     

Personally, I’ve always enjoyed the variety of people buffets.  I have found listening to others ideas & suggestions on a topic/issue can be very valuable. People think differently than you, value things differently, say things differently, mean things differently, and come up with things you never even thought about much less seriously considered as an option.  We can learn from each other if we keep an open mind.  

I encourage you not to quickly discard advice you don’t like because it may just be the key you need to unlock your successful quit/stay quit.  Listening to others POV or experience may be important.  Be slow to eliminate them from your plate because that’s how we all grow out of our own opinions & perceptions AND it can be not only a good thing but just the thing you need to hear to help you out.  

Trying something new might work out for you better than doing your same ‘ole things over & over again.  This is especially true in a quit.

Bon Appe’tit!