Red flag

Blog Post created by Lady86 on May 18, 2017

Hello. Yesterday was quite a bad day for me. I'm going through some crappy financial stresses which causes some tension in my otherwise happy relationship. I didn't know how to deal or cope with it. All I thought of was having a cigarette(like chain smoking cigarettes), I know it wouldn't take any stress away but the addict in me told me different. A voice in the back of mind kept saying everyone in your life and around you smokes, it's you that's obviously missing out, your the odd man out, they all must be getting something out of it. (Again with my knowledge and understanding I know none of this is true, the addict is just trying to resurface)  I'm happy and proud to say I did not smoke.  I'm also bummed out because I'm the heaviest I've been. I wasn't in the best shape before quitting but after quitting boy I put on some extra pounds on top of my already chubbiness that was there. It's the second bump (trigger) I've hit since quitting that I hadn't prepared for so I guess at the very least I can now be prepared for this specific stress (trigger) in the future. It passed but holy I almost gave in and I'm thankful I didn't smoke. It's all I've know and it's all I've done most of my life, smoke when stressed, sad, angry, tired, after meal, sex, socializing, camping and it goes on and on. I don't know what else to say.  I'm not good at thoughts into sentences. But thanks for reading