Yes! I know we have been broken up for two months. At times I miss you terribly! You were there on all of those boring nights and gave me something to do. When I wanted to do nothing but eat, you were there to quell my hunger. When I was stressed, we would kiss and caress until the wee hours of the morning. You made me look cool. Lots of girls that detest cigarettes tolerated them with me, because I hid the smell well, held them a certain nuanced way, and blew the smoke out oh soooo smooothly. You were there for birthdays, anniversaries, holidays. You were one of the gang! You and I were connected by the hip. BUT - it turned out you are NOT the girl of my dreams!
I have watched you pillage Terrie on the CDC commercials. When I confronted you, you said you wouldn't do that to me. Then I read about how you have treated my new friends here. They have all tossed you out on your ass as well. Your response? Don't take their word for it....it's me, your dream girl. First name Camel, middle name Filters, Last name wides. Come to me....give me a kiss. Just spend one night with me for old times sake.
NO! NO! and NO! Oh I am sorry, I did not mean no. I really meant NOPE! NOPE! And NOPE! Did I mention NOPE? I will not allow you to poison me any longer! For the last two days, you have blown in my ear and whispered sweet nothings, only to go and steal more lung tissue from others with your empty promises. Are you heavily entwined in my life? You bet! Is it going to take time to unravel you out of so many fibers? Yes! It is going to take time. But the answer is NOPE, I am sure you will ask again, and the answer will still be nope. Now get your filthy big wide filter away from me before my new girl oxygen comes and beats your ass!