So.
I decided to bite the bullet and set a quit date: thirteen days from now on January 17th.
I can't take Chantix, the tingle of the patch is a constant reminder that I'm trying NOT to smoke, the gum is just awful (and tingly, too), and can't get used to ecigarettes.
So I'm going cold turkey.
In the past, I've kept quit dates to myself, and I've shared them with friends and family. No one really noticed when the day arrived and passed by and I still smoked. Or made it a day or two and then picked up a pack form the store. But I really need to quit, and (mostly) want to.
I watched my favorite aunt die, slowly, from lung cancer. She passed on May 23rd, 2018.
In 2017, I brought her to chemo, cared for her at home, and adopted her dog. She was declared cancer-free in May of that year. Six months later she had a lump in her leg. They called in lung cancer. They treated it and it went away. In April of 2018, she went for a screening. Cancer was back. A few days later she went in for a full body scan, and it was everywhere. Just... everywhere. I remember seeing pictures of the tumors in her spine. They gave her a month and recommended hospice. On day 31, May 21st, she laughed weakly, and said "30 days my @ss."
I couldn't quit even after that.
This time, I'm putting it all out there to the public at large so that my successes and setbacks are set in stone. I need something bigger to hold me to account for this. Even if no one ever sees this, I'll know it's out there, and that in itself can help me.
This is gonna take a village.
