Well, I avoided the community for over 2 weeks because I was embarrassed of my decision to light back up. I made it 6 days. Way more than I thought I would, and over the last few days my mind told me to celebrate that achievement because it's a start. I definitely agree with my little friend that came out of nowhere..it is indeed a start.
I noticed my blood pressure was textbook, I was able to do a full 30 minute cardio treadmill lesson with inclines and some running without passing out, I noticed how my fingertips and hands smelled like smoke after I had not smoked for those days and went back to it, and I was able to not let my anxiety or depression get the best of me for 6 whole days.
My action plans are to try harder when I feel like I "need" or "have" to smoke, finish Allen Carr's book, continue trying my Buproprion and if that does not work I'll give the Chantix a go for a little while. I plan on implementing new little techniques I find/found floating around here and there as well.
Thank you for providing this space for me to just be.