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I have been quit since October 29 2020. I have had a few slips but I keep going. I slip when I get really upset. I can't seem to stop myself. I get in my car go buy a pack. I smoke some then give them away. I have none at home. I wish I could get a handle on this. It has been a while since I was on here.
If quitting was easy, everyone would do it. Take it one step at a time. That seems to be working for me. That said, it is very hard.... I have good minutes and bad minutes. I've been going on a lot of walks, doing a lot of pushups and chewing a lot of sugar free gum. This website has been very helpful for me. Every time I feel like I am going to break, I come here and drop a note. Make a statement or read what others have said. Nothing saying this will work for everyone, just sharing what works for me. I'm sending you good vibes!!! :-)
You have a LOT of opportunities to stop yourself from buying that pack of cigarettes. You have to entertain the thought, and then you have to act on it. You can stop it at the thought by getting your mind on something/anything else. Go for a walk, count the white things in the room, think of girls'/boys' names or cities for each letter of the alphabet, take slow/deep breaths, go for a walk, clean out a drawer. YOU are in control of your thoughts - so don't let yourself think about smoking to the point you get in your car. You CAN stop yourself before you pick up your keys, walk to your car, get in, start the car, drive to the store, park, get out, walk in the store, ask for the pack, pay for them, walk back out, open your car door, open the pack, find a lighter (and why do you still have one??!!), open the pack, pull a cigarette out, light it, inhale............................
"What else can I do instead?" Then DO it!!!!
It's all up to you - make the right choice!!!
You can always come here and blog "HELP" and give us time to talk you down off that ledge. Promise yourself you will do that?
I had a hard time when I got angry, felt overwhelmed, or was anxious early in my quit. Before I quit, I'd gotten by in life by holding on so tight to my fears and worries that I never gave myself enough of a chance to have normal ups and downs. I believed that I had to control myself or my problems. When I couldn't control my problems, I really would get even more upset. Just staying away from smoking was the best I could do as a quitter. I had no great insights--no happy decision that quitting was the best thing for me and all would be well.
I stayed smober and tried to deal with my anger and frustration. Sometimes that meant walking away, eating junk food, taking a long, long, long walk and feeling sorry for myself at a the same time. Time helped me to stop linking stress and smoking. These days when I get upset, I tend to work it out. Smoking doesn't come to mind.
You can learn to get upset without smoking at your problems. One day at a time.
It's so good to hear from you. Ex is here for you 24/7.
Thank you for sharing - please read all EXteam offers and get YOUR tool kit for when those craves hit - in your NEW quit toolbox - have the slogans - s.i.n.a.o. - smoking is not an option - n.o.p.e. - not one puff ever - say I don't smoke any more - this HELPS to get YOUR NEW MINDSET - then YOU read the blogs and get what works for YOU to STAY a non smoker - one day at a time - when a crave hits and they will - bite into a lemon peel and all - it will bring YOU back into YOUR present MOMENT then come her abd blog BEFORE you take the first puff over YOU - you have experience at STAYING a non smoker and I believe in YOU
I think once you understand what the difference is between a slip and a relapse it might help .
Now no two people think alike on this so I can only tell you how I thought and how I applied those thoughts to my quit as advise to avoid them happening to you.
Hope some of the the things I told myself might help you .
1) You can't smoke what you don't have .
2) You can't give in to buying cigarettes to get through the craves . Smoking feeds them . Starving them makes them go away .
If you buy them , destroy them .. it's not a waste to destroy them .. what is a waste , is smoking them .
3) You have to tell yourself you will do something different . Tell yourself you won't smoke no matter what then focus on doing something different . There are many things you can do instead of smoking . The crave will pass when you do .. every time ! Just be patient and trust it will .
4) Put pride aside and post before you smoke . Think of it as strength , not weakness . This one was a huge help in my quit .
5) If your smoking is a reaction to stress , smoking is never the solution and it will never make stress go away . It will only add to the problem .
In time you will start solving your own problems and not even know you are .. it will come naturally , like it should , no work or stress to it .
I quit eight years once , then one led to a pack within a week . I smoked for years after . I can't have one puff .. one puff is the most dangerous puff of all . That's what I learned from that one slip and I've never looked back . Was it hard , oh yes , but a very important lesson to learn to keep my quit .
You slipped , but I think you didn't learn from the mistake , so you relapsed . You can't be quit and smoke at the same time .
A slip is used very loosely to excuse bad choices and decisions and to expect forgiveness for those bad choices ...
it's not ok to slip to be quit ..
We long for forgiveness and encouragement and want advise from others but you already know what you need to be quit . Believe in yourself . You can do the things you need to do to be quit .
Others may disagree with me , but for me and my quit a slip is not ok .... thats the thinking that did it for me . Give myself an inch I'd take a mile to be able to hang on to my addiction so I got tough .
My story may or may not help you , but take what helps and leave the rest .
I am glad you are back . I missed seeing you here . I think you are going to do it this time . You will .
Deep breaths Julie1960 maybe do some reading here because there really is a wealth of information right here on this site to strengthen your resolve to kick the nicotine poison to the curb permanently it's not easy by any stretch of the imagination BUT with commitment and perseverance you will succeed in living a life of Freedom BUT you must stick with your precious quit no matter what is happening in your life that's the only way to remain Smokefree plus the longer you're quit the easier it will get BUT it does take time to relearn life without the crutch of cigarettes, pick a new quit date so you can start stacking up those precious DOF ~ Days Of Freedom! Once your DAY ONE arrives keep your mind as well as your hands occupied so by the end of the day you'll be able to say YAY for DAY WON with many more to come....
Hi Julie Julie1960 ... honestly, it is so good you are working on quitting smoking...my last year before I quit smoking, I was smoking once a week and/or here and there, but unfortunately, until I made the commitment on December 3rd almost 2 years ago...that last year I was attempting to quit, I was still smoking...why don’t you come here when you are stressed and before you go buy a pack of smokes? Let us try to talk you out of it...talk to your Doctor and/or read online ways to deal with stress...I know you can do this, you just have to start the quit from Day 1...and say “NOPE NMW”...by not giving yourself the permission to smoke...keep close to us...I am so happy you are back...~ Colleen 715 DOF
You have to embrace NOPE, Not One Puff Ever, NMW, No Matter what. You need to accept that smoking does not fix anything, it just feeds the addiction and does damage to your physical and psychological health. Don't stay away, come here every day, start and end your day with EX and come in between if you need a boost. I read blogs and commented and I wrote blogs and read the comments like they were golden, because they WERE. Pay attention to what works for others, plan what you will do next time you get one of those serious craves. Take deep breaths, do something physically active, remind yourself that it WILL get easier, it takes time.
Ellen
Slip - it is "losing the battle winning war" !
Does not matter, your deep desire make you stronger next time, when you are about to slip, and you will NOT slip.
Remember, losing the battle ! might slip now, but gained the learning when you can slip !
May be you can build on this and win the war against Nicotine , tobacco and the addiction !
All the best !
It has been a while since I was on here.
First of all don't stay away--that's what we're here for. Get on the Ex for help before you buy that pack. Just spending that time here can change your thought process. We're you taking the Daily Pledge? I found it a great way to help keep my commitment for the day. Don't look at this at a loss. You keep trying and that is important. I would never have been able to do that-if I went and bought a pack, I would have continued smoking. So obviously you want this. Go back and review your quit plan--those are the tools you can lean on when you get upset. Learn from the past and reach out when you need support.
You can do this.
Barb
Hey Julie1960.
It's nice to meet you. I can't add a lot to what the others have already posted. I am 30 days smoke free today. The first 10 days, 7 days, 4 days, 2 days., etc. were an entire new kind of hell for me. But my resolve was very firm. As has been said here by others, I knew in my heart and soul that I had to get to that place where smoking is no longer an option before I could quit.
This morning has sucked already. Lots of days as of late have felt pretty cruel. It's not easy to quit, ever. And I am damn sure it's not easy to quit during a global pandemic and during an election year. (YIKES!) No matter. I must. My self-esteem, my body, my hopes, my dreams, my SELF--we cannot take it anymore.
So this morning... the thoughts have crept in. I am on here because I have pushed every thought that's been swirling in my head back the best that I can. But alone is not enough. And now I need support. Like, right now. So here I am.
I first joined Ex in 2018. And before that I'd had 50 or 70 or 100 different quits and "slips." (Though really I never slipped. I smoked. The end.) After I joined Ex in 2018 I had another millions quits. This is my first 30 days in a long time. But I am still very, very much in the woods. I know this because of the intensity of the craves this morning. And because I sit here typing and feel a very strong sense of urgency to blog on Ex, ask for help, read a lot, reread tips, make my November commitment, post to you, etc. (Some years back I didn't smoke for six years. Then I smoked. It's insane. And IT wants to kill me.)
Seriously, as others have said, do a lot of reading. A LOT. Everywhere. Online. Books. Here. Mayo, CDC, Lung Association. They all have tons and tons of things to read. I have days in which I have to re-commit hourly and even by the minute. It looks like this, "Smoking is NOT an option!" (chant, chant, chant)
You will know when you're ready. All you can do is keep trying. But whatever you do, please put away the whip. Whipping oneself never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever helps. We are not meant to harm ourselves. Smoking does that. You do not need to add. You will quit when you're ready to stop hurting yourself. Once and for all. Until you are ready, do not add to the beating by using the whip on yourself. No more self harm. It's time to stop the bleeding.
We care. Truly.
Thank you for posting. I hope to see you again. Oh! And change your quit date each time you smoke. It really helped me to do that--as awful as it was to have to see the truth. We must see the truth.
redpepper
Hello-
It really is such an awful addiction, isn't it? Non smokers don't realize the pull and allure of having that one cigarette. That being said, the more you smoke....the more you smoke. We all know that and you do too. Each slip unfortunately provides you with an excuse to do it again.....
It is very hard and we all know that. But, we also know it is doable. We all did it and we are no better than you. As others have said above.....make the commitment to not smoke. And then...........don't. You CAN do this. You can do anything....just do not smoke.....cry, run, sleep, scream, eat, punch, jump, dance, sing, walk......just do not smoke.
I have a favorite saying that has been on EX for awhile.....it is not mine....it was sent to me in the "beginning" by JonesCarpeDiem It made me smile, it made me think and it made me strong..............
If you are quitting smoking and still smoking............you're doing it wrong.
Stay strong and don't hesitate to come here for help and support.
Hello again Julie1960..it's so nice to see you back on the Ex.
It sounds like you've been having some really tough times... and I "feel" for you....I relapsed last December and it was a tough time for me as well. I was so disappointed in myself and I was also embarassed to " fess up."
I just wanted to hide in my bubble and smoke. And try to ignore the fact that deep inside me I knew that for my health and general well-being, I really had to quit...and stay quit. It got so I felt worse smoking than I'd felt while I was a non-smoking quitter.
Above, I have read some great supportive and caring comments and some wonderful advice. I pray you will take it to heart and accept it in the spirit of which it was intended: as a deep caring for you and your joiurney.
I wish I had some magic fairy dust to sprinkle across the miles that would take away the painful truth and your necessary work in this quitting business: That in order to quit smoking, you have to quit smoking.
When you are truly ready, I have all kinds of faith in you to get this job done.
Please stay in touch with us as you work this thing out. We are truly here for you!
~ Suzy
320 days completely quit after more than 60 years of heavy smoking
Welcome Back, I am sorry that you are having difficulty overcoming the addiction. Quitting smoking is one of the hardest challenges but it is doable. Education is the key to a successful quit. Quitting smoking is doable if you make quitting smoking your number one priority and make up your mind that you can. You have to have a no matter what attitude and not smoke no matter what is happening your life. Come here when you are having difficultly. Let this be your safe place. Relearning your thinking that you do not have to smoke or vape is a good beginning. Make a commitment never ever take another puff. NOPE. Take smoking off the table as an option and do something different. 101 Things to Do Instead of Smoke SINAO smoking is not an option. That is NOPE concept not one puff ever. It is not by will power but your willingness to let it go forever. Quitting is the easy part. Staying quit takes work. Learning to protect your quit will keep on your journey forever freedom. Stay Connected