It's been a while and wanted to check in. 2020 continues to be a challenging year, and I'm now looking for full time work and struggling a bit to keep up. On top of that, my father who had been battling dementia passed away last month and I had to take a trip north to deal with arrangements and the funeral during this pandemic - which certainly didn't make things easier.
The emotions hit me pretty hard in spite of the fact that his death was not really unexpected and honestly probably a bit of a blessing for him. I'd be lying if I didn't admit the thought of smoking my way through my feelings didn't come up but my dad always wanted me to quit and the thought of him knowing his death was my excuse to start again guaranteed I never so much as touched one.
December 20th will mark 9 months for me. I've avoided nearly 7,000 cigarettes in that time that I otherwise would have smoked.
We can quit and for those having a hard time, please know that it's been really hard for me to gain my freedom from addiction, but focusing on one moment at a time, it's helping me get there.
Remember - The only way out is through and we quit to BE better not necessarily to feel better. Not right away anyway.