Jono28

35 Days and Counting

Blog Post created by Jono28 on Apr 24, 2020

I recently was blessed to post a blog stating how much better that day had been. Foolishly I was pessimistic and superstitious that acknowledging that one good day would curse me somehow.

 

Well I don't believe in curses and I'm not superstitious but...the last few days have again been pure hell.

 

Still no real cravings that are causing any issues, able to deal with those through the realization that I just don't smoke anymore. Just the anxious feeling continuing pretty much non-stop. 

 

If it sounds like I'm whining and miserable...I guess I am. That said, I'm whiny, miserable, and healthier than I've been in decades. My 8 year old shared  with me how although she never mentioned it - didn't want to hurt my feelings - she hated how I always use to smell like smoke. She's sad that I seem sad now but really happy I'm not smoking and hopes I feel better soon so I don't "have to start again."

 

Told her what I tell myself. Smoking would be easy to quit only if I had never started. This is why so many people say they "can't" quit and why I took so long to commit to it.

 

The way I'm feeling is temporary and only for a little while, and between us adults...I pretty much hate every second of it. I haven't learned to change my mindset. I have absolutely no way to embrace this quit. There is no joy in my journey. But the only way out is through. 

 

Hope everyone is well. :-)

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