Today I stayed in bed most of the day. For the first time I'm weakening in my resolve. Every day without exception over the past 24 has been a struggle. Even so I've said it may suck, I may hate life right now, but I don't smoke.
Today I don't know that I can take this and understand the damn "journey" will "take as long as it takes."
I just can't feel like this for 1, 3, or 6 months let alone a year. The cure is almost worse than the disease. I applaud those that have succeeded. I'm sure you had a better attitude than mine and knew how to "embrace the quit."
I know I can hold on a little longer even if I have to stay locked in my room to do it. I just hope and pray for a sign that it gets a little better....just a little even...as I get to the one month mark.
I smoked for 30 years and get that as a result it will take a long time to get better. I just am not strong enough to hang on as long as it's going to take. I feel like a failure before I've even given up.
