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75 Days Behind Me

Jerica_82
Member
3 6 50

Surprised by my own strength at this point! Time really does fly though. This whole week I have been "tested" (small annoyances and stress) and I totally get how people can relapse at this stage but I'm proud to say that I have not and promise that I will not!  

I've been trying to just live life normally with no thoughts of smoking but everything sure is different.  I didn't realize how much I used to stress and agonize over when or if I could sneak out and smoke.  I'm taking baby steps in tackling things that stressed me out.  I've been doing a lot of cleaning and today after 3 hours cleaning in my 12 yr olds messy room, I remembered the days not so long ago that I would have felt I needed a break every 30 minutes at least in order to accomplish what I did.  I know it doesn't sound like a big deal but to me it was a milestone.  I definitely got stressed out and overwhelmed but I kept going and was pleased with the results of my work.  Tomorrow I may attempt another room.  With 4 children, it's just never-ending.  I used to think smoking helped me to cope with stress that comes with motherhood... Thought it made me a better mom because I took a little bit of time for myself to recharge.  It didn't though.

Last week I was feeling ready to start exercising so I made a little spot in the garage for our treadmill and I have found workout videos online to do. There for a couple days I did good but got off track.  My weight gain is bothering me yet I can't stop snacking.  I thought if I got more physically active (not that I don't chase a preschooler and a toddler around all day) I could either get some weight off or at least stop gaining. Lol.  I think I've put on around 10 lbs and it definitely shows. My clothes don't fit right and I just feel bloated and gross. Hopefully it passes. 

I don't get a chance to log on here every day but I want to thank everyone for the encouragement and support. This is really the only place I can get it.  It goes a long way for sure.

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