Although the weather here wasn't convincing, the date on the calendar says Spring has sprung! I have always loved spring and watching everything come back to life after a long winter and I suppose that is currently how I feel about my quit. I am sort of in awe of myself for making it this far... 2 months today! I celebrate this victory in secret because I kept my addiction secret as well.
I don't feel alone though... I know that God has given me the strength to overcome this and that I am held together by His mercy and grace even in the hardest moments. I thank Him every day that I am free. I pray for continued strength and for forgiveness. My addiction kept me from serving to the best of my ability. I could not lead others to the light while I was living in the darkness.
Spring.. all things renewed. A new day has come. I read a quote the other day and it said something about how sometimes when in a dark place, you may feel as though you've been buried but you've actually been planted. With the hope of growing and thriving to bloom as intended, what a positive insight!
So here I am 2 months smoke-free. 2 months that were difficult in some ways but were very important. During this time, mostly due to lack of sleep, I've done so much thinking and growing spiritually- mentally and emotionally too. I've confronted feelings that I used to just smoke off... I've looked at myself in different perspectives to understand why I had the addiction and why I stressed so much about hiding it. I quit blaming past experiences and others. I accepted that I couldn't change the past but I could and would be held accountable for my smoke-free future!
I never want to forget how refreshing that first deep breath of fresh air was a week or two after I quit. It gave me so much hope. I didn't even realize that I hadn't taken a good deep breath in nearly 18 years. Its wonderful to have even that little bit of peace with myself.
I am inspired by and grateful for this change of season.