Jerica_82

First Day of Spring and 2 Months Since Quit

Blog Post created by Jerica_82 on Mar 21, 2018

Although the weather here wasn't convincing, the date on the calendar says Spring has sprung! I have always loved spring and watching everything come back to life after a long winter and I suppose that is currently how I feel about my quit.  I am sort of in awe of myself for making it this far... 2 months today! I celebrate this victory in secret because I kept my addiction secret as well. 

 

I don't feel alone though... I know that God has given me the strength to overcome this and that I am held together by His mercy and grace even in the hardest moments.  I thank Him every day that I am free.  I pray for continued strength and for forgiveness.  My addiction kept me from serving to the best of my ability.  I could not lead others to the light while I was living in the darkness. 

 

Spring.. all things renewed.  A new day has come.  I read a quote the other day and it said something about how sometimes when in a dark place, you may feel as though you've been buried but you've actually been planted.  With the hope of growing and thriving to bloom as intended, what a positive insight!   

 

So here I am 2 months smoke-free. 2 months that were difficult in some ways but were very important.  During this time, mostly due to lack of sleep, I've done so much thinking and growing spiritually- mentally and emotionally too.  I've confronted feelings that I used to just smoke off... I've looked at myself in different perspectives to understand why I had the addiction and why I stressed so much about hiding it. I quit blaming past experiences and others.  I accepted that I couldn't change the past but I could and would be held accountable for my smoke-free future!  

 

I never want to forget how refreshing that first deep breath of fresh air was a week or two after I quit.  It gave me so much hope.  I didn't even realize that I hadn't taken a good deep breath in nearly 18 years.  Its wonderful to have even that little bit of peace with myself. 

 

I am inspired by and grateful for this change of season.

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