The last few weeks of trying to kick this for good has made me realize more than ever that life is just a series of choices we make every day...with everything we do. What to wear, drink, eat. How we interact with each other and the world around us. Most importantly right now, to smoke or not to smoke. I am headed into Day 2 of my quit now after a couple of false starts and feeling more confident and resolved. The last couple of smokes I had made me feel sick. It had been 24 hours plus between drags and they tasted gross, made me lightheaded and feel yucky. The first time this happened it was encouraging because I knew I could do this. It made me angry because I have spent so many years sucking down poison thinking it made me happy or helped me with my problems. Since I can be a slow learner and this stupid addiction is so strong, I had a couple more that made me feel bad then chucked them for good. For the first time in my smoking life cigarettes have let me down and I am truly ready to be done with them. Heading into Day 2 I know my brain will try to trick me into thinking I must have one, but I am fully prepared this time to say no. Not one more puff of poison. I will write often. Thanks so much for everyone's support. I look forward to counting the days, months and years ahead being free from this for good.
