Hello, my name is Karyn, and I am an addict. Over the past 87 days I have won out 81 days against my addiction. The 81 days were hard and then not so hard. Then one day that turned and my addiction won. I will to do everything I can to make sure I always win over my addiction. This starts again today. The last 6 days reminded me what I gained when I quit. No more coughing; not having to blow my nose so often, not feeling my rapid heart beat all the time; climbing stairs without becoming short of breath; sleeping in; not missing parts of events; food tastes better; my sense of smell improved; I wasn't as sore after a workout; I can swim and (bike) spin so much easier. I am sure there are many more.
My plan for this restart:
I have purchased Eucalyptus essential oil. Whenever I feel an urge I open the little bottom and a take a few deep sniffs. Eucalyptus engages deep breathing and a feeling of exhilaration. It is a great way to get through a urge. The bottle is small and fits nicely in your pocket.
I have started re-reading all the material I accumulated in preparation for my quit. Including my index cards several times.
I will check into this site regularly. Not coming to this site every day was a mistake. You cannot ignore your addiction, this monster is hoping for that.
No Alcohol. Generally I do not drink that much but my husband does and he regularly offers/pushes me drinks. Not too shocking, he also thinks I'm more fun when I drink.
Last night I explained to my husband all my reasons for quitting. I do not agree with him that "smoking make me happier" and I told him that. It is not smoking that makes me happy, it is all an illusion. It is a chemical reaction that fools my mind into believing I'm happy. After my quit I may not have seemed happy but I was free. Being free does make me happy. I may have to relearn what 'happiness' is for me or rediscover what 'happiness' was for me before I ever started smoking. This could a wonderful adventure in discovery.
I shared all of my health reasons with him. While I did provide him with my reasons, he is still keeping to his statement, trying to explain away my health reasons. I see him now as that the red devil on my shoulder. I see that his point of view is all about him. I actually should have expected this from him before my quit, this is who he is and has been in everything.
Thank you all for your support!!!! Have a FREE day.
Karyn
