My name is Karyn and I am an Addict

Blog Post created by Iamkfaz on Sep 6, 2017

Hello, my name is Karyn, and I am an addict.  Over the past 87 days I have won out 81 days against my addiction.  The 81 days were hard and then not so hard.  Then one day that turned and my addiction won.  I will to do everything I can to make sure I always win over my addiction.  This starts again today.  The last 6 days reminded me what I gained when I quit.  No more coughing; not having to blow my nose so often, not feeling my rapid heart beat all the time; climbing stairs without becoming short of breath; sleeping in; not missing parts of events; food tastes better; my sense of smell improved; I wasn't as sore after a workout; I can swim and (bike) spin so much easier.  I am sure there are many more.


My plan for this restart:


I have purchased Eucalyptus essential oil.   Whenever I feel an urge I open the little bottom and a take a few deep sniffs.  Eucalyptus engages deep breathing and a feeling of exhilaration.  It is a great way to get through a urge.  The bottle is small and fits nicely in your pocket.


I have started re-reading all the material I accumulated in preparation for my quit.  Including my index cards several times.


I will check into this site regularly.  Not coming to this site every day was a mistake.  You cannot ignore your addiction, this monster is hoping for that.


No Alcohol.  Generally I do not drink that much but my husband does and he regularly offers/pushes me drinks.  Not too shocking, he also thinks I'm more fun when I drink.


Last night I explained to my husband all my reasons for quitting.  I do not agree with him that "smoking make me happier" and I told him that.   It is not smoking that makes me happy, it is all an illusion.  It is a chemical reaction that fools my mind into believing I'm happy.   After my quit I may not have seemed happy but I was free.  Being free does make me happy.  I may have to relearn what 'happiness' is for me or rediscover what 'happiness' was for me before I ever started smoking.  This could a wonderful adventure in discovery.


I shared all of my health reasons with him.  While I did provide him with my reasons, he is still keeping to his statement, trying to explain away my health reasons.  I see him now as that the red devil on my shoulder.  I see that his point of view is all about him. I actually should have expected this from him before my quit, this is who he is and has been in everything.  


Thank you all for your support!!!!  Have a FREE day.