I am back from my camping trip. I had a great time and some great cravings and never smoked. Today I am 16 days smoke free. I went to Eastern Washington for my sister-in-law's graduation from nursing school. There were a lot of people around most of the whole time. Here are some interesting things I learned during this trip:
Generally flying is so much easier as a non-smoker (I will get back to this a bit later)
It was wonderful not be the only smoker at a party - in fact no one was smoking
I can now clearly identify when and why I would smoke without smoking
There are some people or situations you just have to learn to deal with without smoking
My trip there was much easier than I thought it was. As a smoker, flying was difficult with the long periods of time of not be able to smoke. As an ex-smoker, flying was much easier and I was much calmer. My challenge came on my return trip. I missed my non-stop flight home. I was to return at 7:30AM but I didn't get home until 7:30PM. Before I quit I would have been a wreck. I was upset about this but was able to remain calm and did not feel the need to leave the airport to smoke. I was able to identify the moments when that feeling came up, what I would have done - told myself it was an illusion and it will pass...it always passed.
During all the gatherings I was surprised to notice that no one in that group of over 50 people smoked and neither was I. I didn't have to leave the party or the graduation ceremony to have a smoke. I didn't feel like an outcast. Again, I was able to identify the moment when that craving came up and what I would have done if I was still smoker and then I could let it go.
The most difficult part was a family member who has to ability to drive me crazy. A person who believes they know everything and needs to prove it to you ALL THE TIME. I spent numerous hours in the car with this person and by the end of my trip my resolve was weakening. I felt trapped, unable to end the tension I was feeling. The higher my tension got the harder everything became. In order to cope I went back to a meditation trick of rubbing my thumb and first finger together which helps me calm and just repeating "I can do this, it's all an illusion". I didn't smoke but I was very happy to get away from this person.
This person will be in my life for sometime. I have to learn to handle it and I think this past weekend helped me to see I can survive it without smoking and without breaking something or saying something not helpful.
On another note, I am still having problems with my voice. I think I'm going to have to see a doctor about this.
I am glad to be back here, I missed my daily community.