It almost feels unbelievable. Just re-reading my blogs of 130 days ago I don't relate to that mindset at all. Im doing pretty good, some problems that are to be expected in life popped up, and even though I was stressed I didn't think about nicotine. Just felt that I needed to let the people on this site, that helped me so much, know that nicotine is something I don't think about and actively encourage my friends and family to quit. But seriously I think without this website it would have been really easy to give up.
I turned 19 last month and July was a really good month, I relaxed my diet because of my birthday which was a mistake cause its lasted until now, but diet starts tomorrow. I'm at this really weird point where the anxiety forced me to do certain things to feel better that I now no longer require. I don't write in my journal as much anymore, I bought a couple of books and I only read one, I don't walk my dog as much, and I quit going to the gym daily (required masks makes me not want to go, I respect the pandemic but Im a hefty guy and I don't plan on tasting me sweat the whole hour). The variable that's missing is I also quit taking Wellbutrin last month. I feel better since quitting it, but my activity level has decreased. Im debating going back on it.
I also quit my job without notice which I feel bad about, but I was really unhappy and a Pilonidal cyst appeared making it impossible to work and I would've missed that week I was scheduled anyway. Not working would've been a good time for me to reset and try and be more active and do the things I stated earlier but Ive been stuck laying on my stomach in severe pain. Thank the heavens I went to the doctors today and they treated me and I should be better by Thursday. Anyway I feel like a lazy slob watching basketball all day. I also quit Caffeine, Sodas, and sugary drinks. I figure if the only calories I get are from eating that should help a lot. I have a long way to go, and I wish I would've stuck to the things I said earlier, but I feel like I've gone through life altering experience for the better. I wish I could show my friends how dependent they are on nicotine without even realizing it. I would assume they're annoyed by me talking to them about nicotine, but I do feel I'm doing a good thing for them.
Hope you're all doing well
-Mike
