I will NOT quit again. I have done this so many times, I should be an expert! But, no..... i keep falling, failing, slipping, etc. But..... I keep doing it. To me, this means I want this. But apparently I haven't been strong enough in the past. I wasn't as 'ready' as I thought I might be. I'm now 47. I have a 12 year old daughter and she is my life (and husband). She caught her father and I smoking the other day and it wasn't the first time. But her reaction makes us want to crawl under a rock and die. I'll be honest, I resented her for basically dictating to me what I can do with my life and decision to smoke. I'm the adult! She's the child! Why in the world am I letting her tell me what I can and can't do?
Well, she's right. We all know this. Smoking does not make anything better. It does nothing but cause harm. To me, to my family, to my belongings, my health, you name it. The 'good' I feel when I smoke is not good at all. Her father and I made a promise to her over the weekend that we would not smoke. We have kept this promise. Three days and going strong... I know i'm never going to be 'out of the woods'. I need to keep my guard up at all times. Have my backup plans ready in case of a 'trigger'.
