Strength isn't just about endurance or how far you can throw a ball or run around a track. Strength has to do with when you feel the chips are down you dig deep and find that part of you that says I don't want to give up. I still have some fight left and and I can still show people what I have to offer. Hey I may not be perfect then again please show me someone who is. I deleted my original blog that I wrote this morning as it really was just a weekly check in with nothing really to offer - so I thought it best to start over again. The one thing that I've learned to rely on since stopping smoking is my strength and confidence. Yes they both get tested at times - there are times I truly want to throw things around and say I just don't want to fight any more. It's not even about the physical fighting of hurting someone or me - it's the sense of where I am now and where I am going. You know the question that everyone dreads on an interview. I guess this is my interview - my life and how I truly want to control it. Yes work been on overload for the past few months - a little bit of ease up but not a lot. Some days I'm not even sure what I am looking for or where I am headed. The one thing I do have is that I don't smoke any longer and that I can truly say I am not a smoker. Hey I've been a smoker most of my adult life as when I got into the habit they were flowing fairly easily and you could bum one very easily off of others. Hey they even gave out free samples at one time was about 5 of them inside. Does any one remember those days? I guess my point in writing all this is no matter how bad you think you got things going - someone around the corner is fighting harder than me just to breathe and live.
I know my life doesn't revolve around a cigarette or two any longer but that when I feel pressed into a corner I don't stay there and dwell - learn to deal with things without the smoke and mirrors. I do live with the affects of COPD every day. Whatever got you to this point in your journey remember one thing you can control some things in your life while other things are out of your control. Take that part that you can control and run with it. Don't stop --- just remember you leave a little piece of you behind that others can see. I try really hard not to dwell on my weaknesses.
