My history, I took up smoking when I was 13 and now age 25 have decided to stop all nicotine - cold turkey.
I have been cigarette free for over an entire year. However, I have used nicotine replacement therapy (NRT) ever since. I don't think I used NRT properly and I rationalised that it was much better than the alternative. However, I was still a slave to an external substance and when I didn't have it my mood would plummet. When I was in withdrawal I appeared aggressive and unapproachable (because I was). I hated that, I don't want to be that person.
So, after a long time of trying to cut back (failed), I have just decided to stop. Cold turkey is the most difficult thing I have ever done. I have not been able to leave my bed to 3 days and have had crying fits on and off. It's 3:13am and I can't sleep because of this fearful knot in my stomach. I feel like I cannot be normal without it. I have been aggressive towards my partner before crying and not being able to leave my room. I feel like I am going crazy.
I read the symptoms, which I thought reasonably prepared me for this (well as much as reading can prepare you).
I just feel like I will never be normal again and that there is something wrong with me. That I can't feel like a human without it.
